Trent: Hi, I’m Trent Michaels and I’m here today to talk to eminent book reviewer, and proto-sex symbol, [P] about life and love and books and shit. Tell me [P], what made you decide to take up blogging?
[P]: Ego, Trent. I like the attention
Trent: But what motivated you to start writing book reviews?
[P]: I wanted to order my thoughts; writing about what I read is a way to do that. It also spares my friends from having to listen to impromptu book lectures.
Trent: Perhaps they miss those lectures.
[P]: I doubt it. I’m a total bore.
Trent: So why the name books, yo?
[P]: I dunno. Because I’m cool?
Trent: Are you?
[P]: Probably not.
Trent: Who are your favourite writers?
[P]: Is this to establish whether I’m cool?
Trent: I’m just interested. What kinds of writers do you like?
[P]: Dead ones, mainly.
[P]: I’m a big fan of William Faulkner. He wrote like Mariah Carey sings: like a crazy bastard with no sense of restraint. I really like Kafka too; and Dostoevsky and Knut Hamsun.
Trent: So you favour dark and angsty?
[P]: I like all kinds of things. I like Austen and Garcia Marquez; Walser and Kawabata; Proust and Thomas Mann. I think Dickens was a genius.
Trent: So you don’t review only one kind of literature?
[P]: No, I want to read great books. That’s the only thing I’m committed to.
Trent: You don’t, then, write about bad books?
[P]: Sometimes I do, although I probably haven’t read them. I try not to read bad books. I don’t see the point; it’s too much like punching yourself in the bollocks.
Trent: Indeed. So, if someone wanted to contact you, how would they go about doing that?
[P]: Are you trying to chat me up?
Trent: No, don’t be silly
[P]: Are you asking for my number?
Trent: No, no. It’s just that your work is so extraordinary that someone might want to offer you obscene amounts of money to write for them. In such cases, how would they reach you?
[P]: Oh, right. Well, I’ve been working on a Batman style signal, but until that’s ready they can email me at firstname.lastname@example.org and I will get back to them.
Trent: Excellent. We’re unfortunately running out of time; as a final thought, do you have any advice for aspiring book reviewers or readers?
[P]: Moisturise daily
[P]: Yeah, and always call your mum.
Books, yo authored by: Paul